To Dad with Love

I would begin by saying sorry for delaying the blog post for so long. By doing this I go against the golden rule of communication i.e. never start by apologising.  Since writing is not my profession, I don’t have to be on time or follow the rules. This makes me really happy.

 

The following is an email I wrote to my parents from Scotland:

 

Date: November 15th 2008

 

Namaste papa and mummy.

I hope you are fine and are taking proper care of yourself and I hope mummy wants to go to take a liver function test.

I am fine here. It’s very cold here and I bought a new coat. It was for £35 or according to the current exchange rate it was for 2520 Rs.

It keeps me warm and saves me from the winds. The winds are strong and cold.

I hope that you are not missing me a lot as I am now fine but I dream a lot of mummy.

I am too loaded with my work and sometimes get stressed with it otherwise everything is in place.

Quite interestingly yesterday when I was talking to a woman from Denmark, she shifted my attention to something very essential.

She said that as a person I would change staying in the UK. So when I come back home my parents would be quite surprised to see the changes in me. And I will find it hard to adjust with them.

Now papa, if that that is going to be true then I just want you be prepared to see those changes in me.

I might change in the way I talk to people, the way I interact, the choices that I make and my preferences and even my perspective towards life.

I want you to be considerate of the fact that I am a human being and liable to change with the place I live in. Although I know that the person that I won’t change completely but some changes would be quite inevitable.

So please don’t be alarmed to see those changes in me.

Even if you are I would want you to please take it as a new me and not a bad me.

I know you are intelligent enough for understanding that even before I said it. But still for my satisfaction I would like you to consider it.

Papa I want you to be proud of me. In fact I want each and everyone who has ever met me to be proud of me.

I just hope that I am able to maintain that balance and properly utilise the freedom that you have given me.

I will take this time as an opportunity to learn a lot of new things, meet new people and go to new places.

So please do not think that I am trying to distance myself from you. I am trying to be an independent person. Your daughter is now growing up.

I will always love you and respect you till the day I die and I want you to know that and never forget it.

I just hope that when I return to India, I might not disappoint you. I will work as hard as I can. But I will also enjoy my life as I have got this life only once.

This letter is getting long and I have to do my assignment now.

So I will take your leave.

 

Bye papa.

I love you.

See you. Take care

 

Neeti.

 

One may wonder as to how was I “changing”?

 

I always had my doubts about religion and its subsidiaries e.g. gods, goddesses, forced guilt and fear of punishment, etc. I was realising that I did not need to be religious to be an OK kind of person. I just needed to have a conscience, some responsibility and understanding of the principles of cause and effect. I was becoming an atheist and was happy with it.

 

Of course there were other aspects too: my priorities changed, goals in life, opinions, level of independence, way to perceive the world, people etc. It was like feeling the earth while it rotates…if it makes any sense. It’s interesting how much of me is in this over-the-top, dramatic email.

 

What’s also interesting is that my parents have still not read this email; it’s been 5 years. 

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